More high-satire by the Bee! 
SAINT PAUL, MN—This year’s Democratic primary campaign has been filled with gaffes by the candidates, but Monday may have brought the worst one of all, as Democratic socialist Bernie Sanders tried to quote the Communist Manifesto and forgot the words.
During a campaign rally in Saint Paul, Sanders attempted to quote the document treasured by his followers, written by Karl Marx in praise of the glories of communism. Sanders raised his fist on high and called out, “Workers of the world, well, you know the thing!” A flustered Sanders tried to regain his composure but simply continued stuttering and stammering as his speech descended into nonsense, or at least more nonsense than usual. “The proletarians have nothing to lose but their, you know, the thing — their three houses, maybe? The thing!”
“It was shocking,” one Sanders supporter told sources. “I thought Bernie was going to be the next Joseph Stalin or Fidel Castro. But he can’t even quote our most cherished document? Big yikes, bro.”
At publishing time, Sanders supporters were using their capitalism-produced smartphones to look up the part in the Communist Manifesto that talks about student loan forgiveness.