U.S.—In preparation for historic levels of chaos and unrest wrought by Democrats, Democrats are buying record numbers of guns to protect themselves from their crazy Democrat colleagues. According to FBI background check statistics, gun sales are set to hit historic highs since Democrats are scared out of their minds that Democrats may go insane after the election.
“Listen, I’m a Democrat. I know how bat-guano crazy we Democrats are,” said local Democrat Roger Mcturkenblow as he purchased several assault rifles from the local gun store. “If Democrats lose the election, Democrats will burn this whole place to the ground. As a responsible Democrat, I must ensure my Democrat family stays safe during the Democrat uprising.”
Democrat lawmakers are expressing concern with the Democrat rush to buy guns to protect Democrats from Democrats, and are promising new Democrat policies to help prevent Democrat on Democrat violence.
“We have to put some common-sense Democrat policies in place soon,” said Democrat representative Sasparillo Boogerlilly while digging a bomb shelter in his backyard.
Experts predict that if Democrats continue to buy guns at this rate, they will have as many guns as Republicans by the year 2089.