Satire

U.S.—Snopes usually does a pretty good job at being the world’s most trusted source for non-partisan fact-checks of fake news, memes, and obvious jokes. But they’ve really stepped in it this time, drawing criticism for a recent fact-check of the left’s claim that Trump is literally Hitler. https://babylonbee.com/news/snopes-the-claim-that-trump-is-hitler-lacks-concrete-evidence-but-alludes-to-a-deeper-truth/

WASHINGTON, D.C.—As they enter into the high-stakes 2020 race, Democrats are growing concerned that they don’t have a solid strategy for taking on Donald Trump. But now, the universe has given them an answer in the form of new baseless Kavanaugh accusations published by the New York Times. https://babylonbee.com/news/dems-turn-to-proven-effective-strategy-of-acting-really-obnoxious-about-kavanaugh/

U.S.—Many on the right have reacted with outrage to The New York Times on its story about Brett Kavanaugh where it basically made up a new charge against him. This is being looked at as hypocrisy, though, as many of those same people enjoy it when Christian satire site The Babylon Bee makes things up. https://babylonbee.com/news/hypocrisy-right-wingers-who-love-it-when-the-babylon-bee-makes-stuff-up-suddenly-get-mad-when-the-nyt-does-it/

NEW YORK, NY—Many people criticized the New York Times’ recent piece bringing to light new and recycled Brett Kavanaugh allegations, especially after the website issued a disclaimer admitting basically nobody remembered the alleged incident.  https://babylonbee.com/news/new-york-times-reveals-source-on-kavanaugh-allegations-was-reputable-nigerian-prince/

We clearly need to outlaw airplanes… U.S.—In a recent press conference, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senator Cory Booker and other top Democrats expressed deep concerns that airplanes might, of their own free will, launch another violent attack, similar to the events of 9/11. https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-warn-that-airplanes-may-stage-another-attack-similar-to-911/

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats such as Beto O’Rourke have proposed a number of new gun laws, such as universal background checks, a ban on magazines that hold more than ten bullets, and possibly even a “mandatory buyback” of some weapons such as AR-15s. While these laws are likely to be a headache for law-abiding gun owners, the

Beto: ‘Hell Yes I’m Going To Violate My Oath To Defend The Constitution’ https://babylonbee.com/news/beto-hell-yes-im-going-to-violate-my-oath-to-defend-the-constitution/

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Politicians in Washington have developed a radar that detects when people are enjoying something so they can figure out what will be the target of their next ban. https://babylonbee.com/news/politicians-develop-people-enjoying-things-detector-so-theyll-know-what-to-ban-next/

PORTLAND, OR—LGBTQ+ activists are praising Spot, as Spot is the world’s first genderfluid dog. Spot came to the realization he’s genderfluid after his owner announced they would be going to the vet to get neutered. https://babylonbee.com/news/dog-identifies-as-genderfluid-to-avoid-getting-neutered/

PORTLAND, OR—In a poll of the most wretched hives of scum and villainy in the universe, Portland has overtaken Mos Eisley for the first time. https://babylonbee.com/news/portland-overtakes-mos-eisley-as-most-wretched-hive-of-scum-and-villainy/

Not my favorite politician. #WarHawk MAW INSTALLATION—Shortly after being ousted as the National Security Advisor of the United States, John Bolton found work more suited to his position on war, as the NSA of the Galactic Empire. https://babylonbee.com/news/john-bolton-hired-as-national-security-advisor-of-the-galactic-empire/

TROUTDALE, MI—An insane man who is known for stumbling through the streets of Troutdale shouting at people that he’ll buy back things from them that he never owned after he takes money from them that he does not possess has become one of the leading candidates in the 2020 presidential election. https://babylonbee.com/news/insane-guy-shouting-hell-buy-back-your-stuff-with-your-own-money-becomes-popular-democratic-candidate/

U.S.—Mayor Pete Buttigieg has come under fire after claiming that life only begins when you register as a Democrat.   https://babylonbee.com/news/buttigeig-life-begins-when-you-register-as-a-democrat/

U.S.—A number of Democratic candidates have seized on a new initiative to make Americans feel safer: a mandatory buyback. “There are a number of ideas out there that just make people upset when they’re said out loud,” said presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke. “It’s time to take those ideas off the street. That’s why it’s past

U.S.—After Bernie Sanders made horrific public comments suggesting that abortions could be used to curb the growth of the population in order to combat climate change, Planned Parenthood quickly phoned him up and asked him to stop publicly making a connection between abortion and government population control programs. https://babylonbee.com/news/planned-parenthood-asks-bernie-sanders-to-stop-reminding-people-connection-between-abortion-and-population-control/

ATLANTA, GA—CNN knew they were taking a risk devoting seven hours to Democratic presidential candidates talking about climate change, but the news channel thought that this issue — getting a Democrat elected — was important enough for the unusual programming decision. However, the special lost hugely in ratings to Nickelodeon, which also made an unusual

LAWRENCE, KS—The University of Kansas has labeled the phrase “my pleasure” as hate speech after students were triggered during a visit to a campus Chick-fil-A. According to reports, one staff member approached a group of students seventeen times during their half-hour visit, just to check on them.  https://babylonbee.com/news/university-of-kansas-labels-my-pleasure-as-hate-speech/

U.S.—The Democratic Socialists of America organized hundreds of large-scale protests across the country on Labor Day this year, with socialists all over the nation gathering to protest the concept of organized work, labor in general, and lifting a finger to do anything. Socialist demonstrators expressed concerns that the holiday could encourage more people to get a

HANOVER, NH—At a New Hampshire campaign stop, presidential candidate Joe Biden claimed he was at Mount Doom 3,000 years ago when Isildur decided to take the Ring instead of destroying it. https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-claims-he-was-there-3000-years-ago-when-isildur-took-the-ring-and-the-strength-of-men-failed/