PORTLAND, OR—Local Antifa rioter Paxton Parton is currently burning down a black neighborhood. So, he was surprised to learn that Joe Biden had called him just “an idea” and not a real organization.
“Oh, really? Cool!” he said as he lobbed another Molotov toward a building. “Good to know!”
“I was worried there would be repercussions or some kind of crackdown on us by law enforcement,” he added as he threw a brick at an old lady. “You know, I thought finally they were on to us. But if we’re just a myth designed to scare the right into voting, then I guess I’m good!”
“Death to America! Death to America!” chanted the man, secure in the knowledge that he wasn’t an actual threat and just an idea.